I spent many years in a heap trying to navigate a sparkly-blue-eyed, but explosive child. A lot of our family life is on pause as he has very specific social needs.
He arrived in this world and forced me onto a completely different grid…there was nothing mainstream for me to grab hold of because nothing really worked for him.
It was massively disruptive. And it was massively amazing.
Today I want to encourage you with some very practical ways to slow down a potentially exasperating situation.
Say your child is begging for a certain thing…lets say food. Maybe it’s pizza, cereal and you don’t have any! Ah!
“But I want, I want!” they scream.
Your first reaction is “We don’t have any!”
So a back and for match is going on right now. In the end there is no real solution. You’re both mad and maybe both in tears.
What if we rewrite this a bit? What if in the midst of the heat we get playful?
Crazy eh? I know, but play along anyway.
What if we tried it like this “Would I ever LOVE to get ________(you fill in) for you! But I can’t seem to find any in the freezer or cupboard or ______.
BUT, can you imagine if our cupboard/freezer/_______ was SO full we could hardly shut the door?! Haha! What if there was every different flavor/_____ you could buy?!” Use the most fun, expressive voice and face you can muster! 😊
Maybe that sounds unrealistic to you, but give it a go anyhow JUST to see the opposite atmosphere it creates. The peace you get from this alone will be worth it!
As much as you try to diffuse a situation, sometimes things escalate anyway. So, what if the eruption has already happened?
Here is just ONE example out of the umpteenth-illion land mines that we’ve encountered.
A few months ago, our youngest who is 12, ran to his room. If you’ve read our story throughout the pages on my website or you’ve followed us on social media, you will have heard that his reactions can be quite overwhelming. He can either outpour and rumble like a volcano or internalize it all himself and we lose him to a silent world that he disappears to. Both are heartbreaking.
In this instance we let him run. He can’t hear much at this stage and we need time to consider what our next step is going to be.
Together we had an idea! You may never know what’s going to work so you have to experiment! And what works one time may not work the next so don’t get down on yourself, just stay flexible.
We snuck downstairs, put on some old Halloween costumes we had in storage. I came out as Cat Woman, and my husband was Darth Vader.
We tiptoed into our son’s room and began to be funny and silly trying to act out our characters. Hehe! Not even a close representation of who we were dressed as and boy did we feel goofy!
BUT it was worth all of that and MORE to maintain connection and intentionally bring peace back to our home again!
Sometimes it’s easy to put aside the simple things at your fingertips. But when you put them into action consistently you will see transformation, I promise you!
I very much want to hear of some things you tried and success was had…nothing is too small! Please come meet me on Facebook or email me from the contact page on my website as I’d really like to meet you!