We all want peace. In our relationships, in our homes, at work. Desperately we wait for the weekend or days off or time away from our kids to experience some peacefulness.
Then Monday rolls us back to ‘reality’ and the urgency to get some peace back surges in our veins. Chaos seems insistent on finding us and blowing holes in our shelters that we’ve tried to build to protect ourselves.
All our efforts, for WHAT?
Agitation starts to burn and anxiety spreads throughout your core. Your kids will feel this from you too and you’ll get a lot of push back, as it’s difficult to keep a lid on it as things start to go on a downward spiral.
They say the only way to counteract a negative is with a positive…but you were in search of this thing called ‘peace’, the anecdote to urgency, and the floor came out from underneath you.
So what then?
How do you HAVE peace anyway?
I’d like to suggest that peace is something you HOLD.
It’s choosing to CARRY it with you, in whatever situation you may find yourself in.
Peace is a daily choosing that comes in tiny steps that you take consistently.
However, I find that the best way to learn how to sustain something that you long for but cannot yet see, is to practise it in practical ways.
What does peace look like?
For example: Your current situation has changed dramatically, and suppose you find yourself now working from home when you use to work elsewhere. This can apply to the opposite as well, so maybe you were used to having the house to yourself while the kids were in school and NOW you have zero time to yourself.
There are countless interruptions and it’s very trying. You may have even planned out with your kids that you have calls and computer work that NEEDS to get done. But to no avail, they bug you every minute on the hour.
Laser glares and harsh tones come to mind. What other option is there?
The truth is that those tools can and do work. Or do they? Maybe temporarily…you’ll have to dig them out in a bigger and louder way the next time. The trouble is, from my experience, is that they drained me. There was nothing energizing or long lasting about them; nor did I feel good about using them.
I didn’t like how if felt constantly shooing my kids away out of exasperation. It seemed to take a ‘nick’ out of them and me. I was tense and me teeth were clenched.
What I’m suggesting you implement instead is going to seem like your being TOO nice to your kids.
What? Did I just say that?
Yup. Cause this is exactly how it felt when I started to do this and it went against everything I had read or experienced in my life regarding parenting.
Yet it worked so beautifully in a shorter amount of time and brought such refreshing to the relationship with my kids that we have never stopped applying it.
This is not a formula. It’s not a quick fix to ‘get on with things’. It’s an essential piece to include if you want to have peace in your home and be able to love on your kids no matter the behavior.
So, when your beautiful child comes running up to grab your attention…here’s what to say instead:
“I want so much to hear what you have to say OR play that game with you, but I can’t give my BEST attention to YOU right now and I really want to do that. How about I come find you as soon as I’m done here?”
(my boy need to know the EXACT amount of seconds, so be prepared 😉
Now, here comes the FOLLOW through!
BE SURE to honor this —–this is SO key because it shows them that you value their time and they in turn will learn how to value your time and that of others.
Be patient with yourself as you give it a go. And watch how the peace will grow because you created a space within you to carry peace.
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